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Back to School!

August 26, 2018

Ready or not, it’s back to school time! It’s not just the first day of school, it’s also the last day for a lot of things. It’s the first and last day you’ll be able to wake your child all year because they’re so excited and nervous. There’s a glimmer of hope in your child that it’ll be a great year and they’ll get to see all their friends they missed all summer, so they are instantly awake the first day. But once they get to school and learn that they can’t talk to their neighbor during class, they figure what’s the point of going to school? It’s the day their summer spirit gets squelched. So, after the first day you’ll never be able to peacefully wake your child up again. Every morning they’re in a coma and it takes repeated efforts to revive them. Also, it’s the first and last day your child will be super concerned about their hair because they want to make a good impression and they know Mom will be taking their “first day of school” picture. After that, they have bed head every morning and they’re totally fine with it. They wear it proudly. They have no desire to impress anyone anymore. The first day of school is the first and last day their clothes will be organized and ready to go in the morning. After the first day, even if they pick out their clothes the night before, they will inevitably change their minds in the morning and you’ll be scrambling to make it to school almost every day. Somehow a shoe always goes missing in action. Where it goes or how it got there nobody knows, but it’s always reported missing. It’s the first and last day your child’s backpack will be neat and organized with fresh, clean supplies. Literally the next day the notebooks will be bent in half and shoved into the bag, fresh folders will be torn beyond recognition, new pencils snapped in half, and heaven knows what else is lurking in the bottom of that new bag. It’s very important for all new parents to know that no matter what bag you bought your child, crucial papers the teacher sends home about significant dates and events never, ever make it from the school to your house. Nobody knows if the bag eats it, your child uses it for scrap paper and tosses it, they drop it from their hot little hands and it’s never seen again, who knows? So since you don’t want to bug the teacher all of the time, you must make friends with the other new parents as a united front to see if they happened to get any papers about things you need to know. Maybe you don’t want to befriend them because you’re too shy, you don’t have time, or they’re too weird? Doesn’t matter.  This isn’t about you. This is about trying to make sure your child doesn’t miss out on any class trips that you were supposed to send money for, field days where they were supposed to wear specific clothes for, station days where they signed up for stuff to bring in, class clubs that require your signature, or anything else that school is trying to do for your child. If you ask your kid did you get a paper, they will have absolutely zero recollection of it. They’ll be the only who swears the teacher never handed anything out. Even your most organized child will have an important paper slip through the cracks, so start making friends! I wish all the kids a great first day and great school year this year! I’d also like to wish all the parents and teachers the same, good luck to all! You can do this!

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