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Trick or Treat

December 31, 2018

I don’t know if this is unique to Susquehanna County or not, but it’s either feast or famine when it comes to Trick or Treaters for Halloween. I’ve never heard anybody saying that they bought the exact amount of candy needed for Trick or Treaters at their door. It’s either that nobody came at all, or there were hundreds of kids so they started scavenging their cupboards for cans of soup or boxes of pasta to hand out before a riot broke out. For those who get no visitors, you have to understand that no parent buys their kid an overflowing bucket of the best variety of their favorite candy ever, so the kids are not going to go down a lonely dirt road to show you their costume and miss out on the opportunity to fill that glorious, cherished bucket to the rim on the main street in their town, like Lake Ave in Montrose. It’s simply not going to happen. You can’t compete with Snickers and Sweetarts, I’m sorry. You could be the best neighbor in the world, doesn’t matter. Almond Joy has the word Joy in it for crying out loud, don’t take it personally if nobody swings by. You might get a few straggler visitors a day or two before Halloween night, but nobody is going to waste their precious time driving to rural PA for a fun size Butterfinger you’re passing out on jackpot night. Unless you’re doing something very unique like offering a chocolate fountain with red solo cups on your porch, or you’re handing out a full Texas Sheet Cake to go, you’re going to get zippo. Although word on the street does spread fast too if you’re giving out WHOLE candy bars! But I do love how it’s called Trick or Treat; it’s the one day of the year every kid in your neighborhood and even beyond comes begging at your door and your only option is to either give them a treat, or they’re going to do some awful trick to you. Why is that forced upon you that night? As a kid it's great, but as an adult whose candy is dwindling….that sounds awful. It had to have been thought up by a very smart child who somehow convinced all the grown-ups to go along with that scheme. Brilliant. Actually the only other option is to hide in your own home like a terrified person with all the lights off and do your best not to make a sound so nobody thinks you’re home. Those are your only options. It should be called Trick, Treat or Hide. Good luck to all the homeowners this Halloween season and may you finally buy the exact amount of candy you need!!

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