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Cars Always Hitting Deer

August 8, 2019

I’m trying to figure out why deer run out in front of our cars. If you notice it’s usually at night, a bunch of them are hanging out together, probably been drinking, maybe it’s a bit of a dare to see who’s faster, definitely some impaired judgement going on, when wham! One or all of them decide they can outrun a car! Do they goad each other and say, “Bob! You got this! Here comes a car! Go NOW!! Go gogogogo!!?” Then when Bob gets hit, they feel bad for maybe a day, and then they’re right back at it with another gullible member of the herd. My theory is they’ve found a way to make back woods moonshine that’s giving them courage they normally wouldn’t have while affecting their depth perception and ability to judge the speed of moving objects properly. I could be wrong. But urban legend has it that it’s because their deer paths have been formed since the Native American days, and they’re just following those original paths. It’s similar to the folks on the news who follow their GPS into the river, without considering perhaps this might not be the best route to take to get where I need to go. Maybe my GPS is mistaken. Nope, the deer think that their ancestors were infallible and would never steer them wrong, or steer them into the path of our SUV’s on super highways that have been built after their ancestors first mapped out a grid of North America. You’d think they’d adapt. Some smart deer over the years would’ve said, “Hey, maybe we need new paths that don’t take us through Death Valley straight across an interstate.” I’m a little salty about it right now because our son just had a deer literally jump over a guard rail onto his hood, set off his air bag and flip up over the car and total it. He said it looked like a video from YouTube. He was coming home from work at night on Route 29 and for a split second saw some brown jumping, and then all he saw was an air bag in his face, some black radiator smoke, and his hood permanently stuck in an upright position, completely blocking his view of the road. Years ago, my Dad took his car in to get fixed at an auto repair shop after Mom hit a deer on her way to the Elk Lake School, and when he picked it up after they fixed it he hit a deer with it literally less than a mile from the shop on the way home. As a joke, he took it back to the shop and told them that they did a terrible job fixing it, you couldn’t even tell they did anything! He had them going for a bit! Anyways, maybe it’s just a case of the deer thinking the grass is always greener on the other side of the road. Why are they always hanging out by the road anyways?  Is there no grass in the 150 acres they just walked through to get to the road? Do they honestly think things are a utopia just beyond where the cars are whipping past?  Regardless of why, stay safe out there! There’re deer everywhere!

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