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One Trip Shopping Bags

December 17, 2019

How many shoppers out there play the “can I carry all my grocery bags into the house in only one trip” game? My kids would rather dislocate their shoulders from the weight of the bags before they make more than one trip. Is that a bag hanging off your ear too? I wonder what those people do who push a cart overflowing with groceries while pulling another cart or two also filled beyond capacity? I’d love to see them try to one trip it. I’ve often wondered, who are they actually feeding?! Are they doomsday preppers? Are they cooking for an entire commune? Maybe their church is putting on a benefit and this one person is in charge of all the shopping to feed a massive hoard of people? Do they live in the middle of nowhere and they’re only allowed one horse and carriage trip into town once a year so this haul needs to last their family forever? Is this actually the lady from the cautionary tale nursery rhyme who lived in a shoe with so many children she didn’t know what to do? I feel like telling her, “Blink if you need help.” I had that small, hand held basket with barely any items and a fist full of coupons to make a healthy blueberry snack for my kids, and it cost over $40! True story. Multiply that by what this poor woman was pushing and pulling as an oversized load through the aisles and there goes college tuition this year. Maybe my bill was so high because I bought a few “healthy” ingredients. You know it’s expensive if the gluten free/health food aisle is separated from common items, which is similar to the high roller section in a casino that is in a completely separate room with warning lights indicating how mere mortals can’t afford to pop in there so just keep walking. Another reason they have a separate healthy section I think is because if they put a regular priced item, like a simple bag of chips worth $2, next to its organic counterpart for $50, it will inevitably hurt their sales. People buy separate freezers as a way to “save” money so that they can buy in bulk and store the extra food. For me that just didn’t work out, because now I’m just a frozen food hoarder with frozen items I don’t recall buying, let alone what year I bought them in. I’m sure you save money buying in bulk at Sam’s Club too, but what am I going to do with a refrigerator sized box of Cheerios? Death by Cheerios I guess. Same thing with a bulk purchase of 50 ketchups cellophaned together. Who has that kind of room to store these savings? Apparently the 3-cart shopper does. I can’t even make it a week without shopping for things I forgot the first time around, so hats off to those who have massive lists to fill 3 carts and shop only once a month. Impressive skills! Happy shopping and one trip carrying the bags into the house!

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