For the portion of the public either working from home on their computers or doing schoolwork from home on their laptops, I have some important tips from my “IT” Information Technology husband in response to my average, every day futile attempts to get a signal or get the computer or printer to actually cooperate and do what I ask it to do.
Me: How are we going to handle all of us at home on the internet at the same time?
Russ: We can use your phone as a hot spot.
Me Staring Blankly: Pretend I don’t know what that means. Keep in mind when you were reading encyclopedias and “How Do Things Work” books in your childhood, I had a completely different childhood by reading “Where’s Waldo?” and “The Adventures of My Horse Named Blaze.” So how is my phone hot? Does that mean you guys have to have my phone close to your computers all day? Do I hold it like the rabbit ear wire antennas our old tv’s used to have? Walk me through this and how this impacts me and my phone.
Me: Why does it take 10 minutes to receive my emails?
Russ: Do you see this number in the lower left corner indicating that you have over 4,000 emails in your inbox? That’s why. Just delete them after you read them.
Me: But I leave them there as a reminder that I have to deal with them eventually. My memory is shot, so that’s my system right now. What if it’s from Michael’s Art Store and I don’t need anything from there today, but maybe someday I will?
Russ: Then you’ll always have slow emails. I don’t know what to tell you. Same thing with your phone. If you would delete messages after you receive them you could send and receive faster. Let me guess, you’re not going to delete those either?
Me: Why can’t I get the printer to print this?
Russ comes over, hits print, and it works.
Me: I DID THAT EXACT SAME THING! I swear you’re either magic or technology fears you and laughs at me. It’s so frustrating!
Me: I saved a document and now I can’t find it.
Russ clicks on 50 screens I’ve never seen before at a rate of speed that my eyes can’t adjust to, and finds it in record time.
Me staring blankly again: Thank you, but I’ll never be able to find it in the future because I have no idea what you just did. I swear at one point it looked like you entered a black hole portal, went back in time and uncovered a screen that had hieroglyphics on it. Can you at least tell me where my document was hiding and why?
Good luck to all of the students, teachers, and workers out there doing life online with slow internet speed, you got this!! If not, don’t call me...I’m not helpful. But if you have any questions about “Blaze” the horse, I can help you with that information that I never used once in my lifetime. How is everybody else making out with online schoolwork?