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Sleep Deprivation

It’s crazy how different we are as people when we sleep. There are those with sleep apnea who I think are just so tired, they actually stop breathing periodically throughout the night. That’s pretty tired. They can’t even make the minimal effort to stay alive, pretty much. Then there are those who grind their teeth at night. I think those people may need therapy. What could possibly be so wrong that you are in a silent rage, unconsciously and quietly clenching your teeth in the night and grinding them down? Is your mind thinking, “If I have to get up for work ONE MORE TIME!” Or maybe it’s, “If my Mother-in-law says one more thing!” We’re so tired at night that the only way to correct this problem is to stick a dental mouth guard in your mouth for the night so we don’t actually hurt ourselves. That’s crazy! What about the sleep walkers? I think they are the busiest people in the world. Subconsciously they feel like they didn’t get enough done during the day, so they’re going to finish folding laundry and doing other errands in their sleep. They leave a note for themselves in the morning that reads, “I noticed you were hungry so I raided the fridge. You’re welcome. Sorry about your diet. You would’ve loved that cake!” Or the note could say, “I noticed you’re always curious about the neighbor so I walked over there about 2am-ish. Don’t worry, they were sleeping too; they’ll never know. I might’ve raided their fridge too.” Also when you’re asleep, why doesn’t your brain alert you to the fact that you’re sleeping on your neck wrong and you’ll be in pain for the next few days because of it? Is your brain thinking, “You know what? I’m tired of alerting you when you’re doing something stupid. I need a break, you’re on your own. You’ll have to deal with the consequences.” Then there’s the drooling. During the day your brain knows that’s disgusting; don’t do that. Why is it acceptable at night? How tired is your brain that it lets pure chaos reign? What about the falling dream? A normal, day time brain would realize you’re fine. Your lying flat on a bed. But at night, suddenly you feel like the bed has just caught you from a five-story free fall and you find yourself bouncing awake. So bizarre. I’m sure you look possessed. Also, why do we only have 1.3 minutes to write our dreams down after we wake up or they’ll be forgotten forever? Except the nightmare dreams where you wake up in the middle of a test in high school that you didn’t study for. Really brain? That’s the one you choose to remember and repeat every so often? Probably the worst thing you could do is snore really loud. Especially if you have a loved one next to you. “Oh, you’re trying to sleep? Well, I’m going to make a really loud, obnoxious, deep, unnatural noise now for the next 8 hours. It’s my new way of breathing, good luck sleeping through it!” But seriously, if you think your snoring is a sign of sleep apnea, go get it checked out because your brain is oblivious at night…it doesn’t have your back, or your grinding teeth, or your cramped neck, etc.

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