England's Cheese Run
How bad must your life be to sign up for the most dangerous foot race in the world, aka the Cooper’s Hill Cheese Run in England? Basically since the 1800’s, runners line up to chase a 9 pound cheese wheel that has a one second head start as it rolls down a 300 yard, grassy, uneven, somewhat rocky, sometimes concave, 45 to 90 degree hillside that they spray with water and characterize as “too steep to run down safely.” The cheese has clocked speeds of 70mph, and the bottom of
TV Dads
If you had to choose a TV Dad that most closely resembles your Dad, which one would it be? Mr. Cleaver on Leave it to Beaver? Tim Allen on Home Improvement? Howard Cunningham on Happy Days? Al Bundy? Homer Simpson? Peter Griffin on the Family Guy? Earn Marks in Atlanta? Tony Soprano? George Jefferson? George Lopez? Archie Bunker? Fred Sanford? Marty Crane in Frasier? Frank Costanza on Seinfeld? Carl Winslow on Family Matters? Philip Banks on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Ned S
Some Old Sayings Gone Wrong
Some old sayings gone wrong: “Ants in Your Pants” This was before parents knew what ADD or ADHD was. Your official diagnosis was ants in your pants. “All good things must come to an end” Ok Debbie Downer. Thanks for the reality check, jeez. “The Green Apple Quick Steps” That’s a polite way of saying you’ve got two seconds to make it the rest room. It should have been called “The Gas Station Sushi Quick Steps,” because not all green apples give you that bad churning feeling in
Wifi and IT Issues
For the portion of the public either working from home on their computers or doing schoolwork from home on their laptops, I have some important tips from my “IT” Information Technology husband in response to my average, every day futile attempts to get a signal or get the computer or printer to actually cooperate and do what I ask it to do. Me: How are we going to handle all of us at home on the internet at the same time? Russ: We can use your phone as a hot spot. Me Staring
Selfies
Can you even imagine our ancestors during this “selfie” picture taking era? When you look at pictures of our great-great-grandparents back in the day, nobody smiled…so life was either a buzz kill back then, or they just REALLY hated having their picture taken. By the expressions on their faces, I really don’t think they would’ve taken to selfies. Or did the photographers say, “Hold still and show no emotion whatsoever?” In the really “olden” days when people sat for hours for
I Need Glasses
Who else woke up one day unable to see to read anymore? Literally you’re fine one day, and then some time during the night your eyes decide to go on strike and make things blurry from then on after you wake up. Thank you, Irish ancestors, for that very “expensive to correct” defect that runs in my entire family, so it’s expensive exponentially. It’s even more difficult when you’re old because not only do you spontaneously one day need glasses to read, but your memory is now s
Wind Knocked Out of You
When you’re young, that’s when you first learn important medical phrases like, “You’re ok, you just got the wind knocked out of ya.” I remember the first time I heard that. I had a bike with a green banana seat that burnt your skin if it sat in the sun too long, and I tried to shove as many plastic tassel thingies in the handle bars as possible so that they would flap in the breeze the faster I went. Made me feel like I was going faster than I actually was. I distinctly remem
Happy Mother's Day!
Remember that show “8 is Enough?” It probably should have been called 8 is a burden. I’m sure 7 of us kids were a serious burden at times to my poor Mom. She had kids in the Elk Lake School District spanning 4 decades…from the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s!! My oldest brother started school in the 60’s, and my little brother graduated in the 90’s! Then they attended their 7 kids’ sports and high school graduations, 7 college graduations, weddings, plus 26 grandkids’ sports, gradu
Call of the Wild
Because a lot of the world is at a standstill, they’ve been showing pictures of animals migrating to busy streets now. It’s like the call of the wild out there. For my house, it’s the call of the bunnies. I think all of the Easter Bunny helpers have retired to our yard. Since I’m non-essential even in my own house because I’m not an online student or working from home on conference calls like everybody else here, my job is to keep the dog quiet from losing his mind when the b
Garage Sale
We helped my parents host their first garage/estate sale a couple of years ago, and let me explain how much we underestimated such an undertaking. Keep in mind you can count on one hand how many garage sales I’ve ever been to in my life. We debated whether to put “no early birds” in the newspaper ad or not. Dad said he’s normally up early and Irish Hill is so far out in the middle of nowhere that there shouldn’t be that many, so if a few people show up before the 8am start ti