Some Old Sayings Gone Wrong

Some old sayings gone wrong:

“Ants in Your Pants”

This was before parents knew what ADD or ADHD was. Your official diagnosis was ants in your pants.

“All good things must come to an end”

Ok Debbie Downer. Thanks for the reality check, jeez.

“The Green Apple Quick Steps”

That’s a polite way of saying you’ve got two seconds to make it the rest room. It should have been called “The Gas Station Sushi Quick Steps,” because not all green apples give you that bad churning feeling in your stomach that lead to the explosive results this saying is referring to.

“There are more ways than one to skin a cat”

My young nephew asked terrified, “People skin cats?! And there’s more than one way?!”

“It’s a bitter pill to swallow”

Remember those little antibiotic, chemical pink pills when we were little? They were nasty. Bitter for sure with an aftertaste that made you sicker and kicked you while you were down. I used to pretend I didn’t have a fever with strep throat just so I wouldn’t have to take it. The Flintstone Vitamins weren’t much better, all gritty and revolting. They said we should “Pop a Wilma” to feel better. It did not make me feel better.

“Threw him under the bus”

Did someone actually get thrown under a bus originally, and was it moving or no?

“Sitting on pins and needles”

According to google, this saying stems from the actual sensation one gets from recovering from numbness. You’d think it would be called stepping on pins and needles instead, because usually your foot falls asleep. So apparently, a lot of people from the 19th Century dealt with having their buts fall asleep all the time. That’s ah, pretty weird. I thought people back then were hard workers, not sit around until your but falls asleep types?

“Fly by the seat of your pants”

Is this when parachute pants were a thing? It probably originated from somebody’s parents telling us how ridiculous we looked in the 80’s when that fad came out, because our practical parents probably wondered if actual flying was the real purpose of the pants since it certainly couldn’t have been for fashion’s sake.

“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”

That just sounds bad. What even is that?

What were some other good ones?