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Happy Father's Day!

June 15, 2018

Happy Father’s Day! One of the first of many jobs that fall on the shoulders of all the Dads out there is the scary, Russian Roulette drive to the hospital during labor where you never know if you have to deliver your own baby or not on the way to the hospital because most any distance from the windy, construction filled roads in Susquehanna County to a hospital that delivers is typically a good 45 minute drive with a high chance of hitting bad weather along the way. The relief he feels after safely arriving at the hospital is short lived because now he has to concentrate with every fiber of his being not to let his knees buckle, stomach flip flop, or pass out dealing with all of the sights and sounds in the delivery room where he’s front and center trying to be the rock she needs and the hand she death grips. Their reward after the baby is born is to spend a ton more time with their in-laws, yay!! Now his days are filled with reading the same nursery rhyme books over and over to their children and try to sound interested and fascinated every time. Then when children get bigger, Dad’s usually teach them to ride bikes by running alongside them as the kids violently swerve into their shins and run over their toes as they’re learning. Throughout all the years, for some reason something is broken all the time and the Dads are supposed to just know what to do to fix it. Nobody admits to why it’s broken or who left the lights on, but because of it Dads have to be an accomplished carpenter for spontaneous holes “nobody” is responsible for, expert mechanic for things that were “nobody’s” fault, plumber to all sorts of questionable items being flushed, BBQ grill chef, rabid bat capturer, skilled electrician facing 240 volts of electricity from an old system, pest control specialist, chaser of monsters under the bed, enforcer of curfews, and spider killer. Another duty that seems to fall on Dads is to finance 1.2 million dollars in a family cell phone plan that they explain is a real cost saver the better the plan you get. Then during the teen years, Dads have to figure out why their teen is upset when they have absolutely NO IDEA what their problem is. Nobody knows. They don’t even know. During and after their teens, kids tend to move…a lot! Dads have to have sharp spatial analyst skills and strong backs to be able to load everything they’ve ever bought for their child into the back of the car and still be able to look out the back safely in order to drive hours on end away. Then after all Dad has done for his “Daddy’s little girl,” he has to walk her down the aisle, try not to cry too hard, and tag out. With sons, he has to shake his hand, give him a manly hug, and cut the same “every day” ties to his once little buddy without causing a scene. He does this all while wearing a thin piece of choking material called a tie whose sole purpose is to look decorative as it cuts off his air supply. In spite of all of that, he’ll still call being a Dad as the best job he’s ever had. Happy Father’s Day to all the great Dads out there, you are appreciated! 

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