A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down

I’m on a chemotherapy drug now to help my autoimmune diseases, so my doctor said I might lose my hair on the top in the back. Well that should be an attractive look for me! I might have my husband spray paint that spot in the back and call it good. Or maybe do a combover like the guys do, that should be so pretty! She also said pick a day of the week you want to feel bad, because the day after you take the drug you’re going to feel blah and sad. Great. What day of the week do I hate so much that I want to feel sad that day? Monday, right? Doesn’t everybody hate Mondays? Sounds like a nice, horrible day anyways. But my sister Kathy said Mondays are already bad enough, you don’t want to go too crazy that day. The doctor said people usually pick the weekend so that it doesn’t affect their work week. Well that sounds like a bad idea. If I’m going to feel down I at least want to get paid that day! You must be an amazing worker if you want to feel down on your days off and not spread it amongst your coworkers who bring you down naturally. Paybacks! My husband said pick Tuesday because he doesn’t work from home then, so he won’t have to deal with me. I was thinking I paint every day and that makes me happy, I’ll just paint on Tuesdays to cheer myself up. But then I got thinking what if I paint really sad things that day like the expressions on dog’s faces when their owners leave? Or the expressions on kids’ faces when they accidentally let go of their balloon outside and it floats away? On Wednesday I’ll look at what I painted on Tuesday and think what the? I’m also back on steroids now, and they make people angry. So I’m normally an upbeat and even keeled Mom and wife, but now there’s a new sheriff in town….and she’s a sad, angry sheriff! Send prayers for my family! My husband better watch his step on Tuesdays! He might better start working late that day. Consider this a public service announcement! Don’t make eye contact with me or text me on Tuesday….forgive me, for I know not what I do! I think hump day Wednesday is going to be apology day for me for a bit. I did ask my husband to let me know if he thinks I’m starting to put on a lot of weight from the steriods, and after a very long silence he shook his head no and said, “I will not be saying anything remotely about that at all…no good can come from that.” Probably a good idea. On a positive note, I do have confidence this new drug for me will work and a lot of people have no side effects at all so I probably won’t, but I’m sure my family will be on edge waiting to see what happens! What day of the week would you pick if you knew you’d be the fun combination of sad and angry that whole day?

The sad part is when the doctor listens to your symptoms and then says here take this drug that will make you lose your hair and feel miserable, you’re left sitting there saying, “Awesome! Thank you so much! Should I pay your large office visit fee now or later? Can’t wait to recommend you and tell all my friends to come here!”