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Lost in the Parking Lot

I’ve been a passenger so much throughout my life that I’ve just stopped paying attention to how I got places or where we’ve parked….it’s to the point now that I simply can’t find my car in the parking lot if I don’t drive there myself. For over 20 years of being together, my husband has always drove us everywhere, so I stopped paying attention to how I got places around year 5. Instead I read in the car, talk to the kids, take a nap, get lost in my mental to do list on what needs to get done and I have no idea what roads we took to get to events. So if Russ ever develops narcolepsy at this event and gets sleepy, or starts to drink and then I have to drive, we might as well spend the night at the event because I have no idea how we got to where we are. I just remember we took the highway and made a bunch of turns, that’s all I know. Same thing with shopping at Walmart during the holidays when the parking lot is packed. I paid zero attention to where we parked because I didn’t drive and he’s exceptional at remembering exactly where we parked; he always walks super fast directly to the car so I just subconsciously shut my brain off and flit through the shopping experience without a care in the world. But if he asks me to run to the car to get the coupons we forgot, I don’t want to admit to him that I have no idea where we parked, I haven’t paid attention since 1998. So instead I try to be nonchalant about being completely lost and walk towards the middle of the sea of vehicles and click the unlock button so my car can electronically signal me with flashing lights and a quick beep, which is code for, “Hey clueless, I’m over here!” I think there’s enough of us out there that have this problem that car manufacturers decided all cars need this as a standard feature….where the car flags down its owner so that they don’t look so stupid wandering around the parking lot looking for it. I think their sales skyrocketed once people saw that feature. Then I try to act cool, like I intentionally meant to take a zig zag pattern way out of my way to get to the car. I’m also quick to hit the lock button right after the unlock button because I’m always paranoid about a parking lot serial killer just waiting for people like me who use the unlock feature a half a mile away from their car to give them time to jump into the back seat or steal everything inside before you can get to the car. You’d think I’d pay more attention to where I park based on that fear, but I always assume Russ isn’t going to develop narcolepsy or get drinking where we’re at…but it is Walmart after all. It’s exhausting and chaotic in there, there’s always the chance he’s going to leave incapacitated. I really should pay attention more.

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