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Post Party Pantry

The back to back parties are over, and now you have post party plundered and pillaged pantry problems. Aka, no food in the house. Does anyone else run to the store for a few things and forget their list, or is it just me? Instead of turning around, I assume I can remember what I am going for and I decide to just wing it. Always a mistake. For some reason I grab milk in the cold section of the store right off the bat, and I either have a really good circulatory system or really bad, because I physically turn the temperature of whatever I’m holding. After about 30 seconds, I get sick of carrying something subzero that probably wasn’t even on the list, so I grab a basket and start to fill that until it’s overflowing. I only needed a couple of things, but since I can’t remember what they were I figure I’ll just look around in every single aisle because it might trigger a memory of what I wrote down. Next thing I know I’m walking lopsided with a super heavy basket I gradually started to fill that is slowly pulling my arm out of its socket, so I decide to grab things to carry in my other hand to even out. Of course I try to pretend the pain from both the weight of these overly heavy groceries, and the awkwardness of holding so many in my hand isn’t slowly killing me as I walk like a weeble wobble in order to distribute my weight from side to side to keep a forward motion going before my legs buckle and I collapse in aisle 5. Man down! See, if I hadn’t forgotten my list I wouldn’t be in this situation. If I put the basket handles on my forearm instead to free up my hand it just cuts my circulation off. Fine! I’ll get a cart! I’ll admit that I’m getting more than a couple of things and this trip is costing me an arm and a leg now. Oh look at all that wrapping paper on clearance! Yep, I think I need that. Cream puffs? Don’t mind if I do! I’ve gone rogue, no list is so freeing! My $2 trip has now turned into $200. Then there’s a narrow pass in the aisle that you reach the same time another shopper does, so you make eye contact and smile and tell them to go ahead….only to have them smile at you, pull into the narrow pass and park their cart to shop, essentially forgetting that you are waiting for them and blocking you and everyone else from getting through. Are you kidding me right now? I was trying to be polite, not motion to you that I’ve given up on life and plan to live in this aisle from now on, so go ahead and take your time. Did they forget that they just saw me trying to get through there two seconds ago? Do they realize other people exist? I finally cut my losses by turning an about face in the blocked aisle and check out whether I’m done or not, only to go home and check the list and notice I forgot the main thing I went to the store for!! Do I go back there, or do we just not eat for a couple of days? It’s a toss up! I bet that shopper is still in that aisle, blocking it. Then my husband asks, “You spent $200 and you didn’t even get what you went for?” I’ve got to find my continued Christmas cheer, my grocery list, and get it together! Happy post party pantry purchases everyone for the New Year’s Eve parties! May you all have a happy, healthy, safe, blessed and prosperous New Year!!

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