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Single Ply Toilet Paper

My husband accidentally bought a generic brand, single ply toilet paper. He will never make that mistake again. He actually apologized to us all, that’s how bad it was. You can’t even see it because it’s see through. I think it’s there, I’m not really sure. It’s like a whisper of a square you can kind of see if you squint at it. Like a hint of paper instead of actual paper. They shouldn’t even be allowed to sell that; that’s false advertisement. I remember looking at this paper imposter and thinking is this a joke? But then I read the “single ply” warning in small print on the sad excuse of a bag. That’s exactly what it is; it’s more of a warning and not so much a description. I actually had a family member who came over to the house say, “That’s fine if you guys are trying to save money by buying single ply toilet paper. I get it. You have kids in college. But how about I buy you normal toilet paper and you squirrel it away somewhere and bring it out when I visit.” I’m not kidding, that was a real conversation. I’m legit trying to think of what else I could use it for because it’s just not working out. Maybe I’ll hang onto these for Halloween because I could chuck them at someone’s house…I’ve never tp’d someone’s house or trees before but I feel like launching them at the guy’s property who created the single ply in protest. It won’t work though because you can’t see it anyways. It’s less of an impactful message if all that’s there to see is the cardboard center of the toilet paper roll in the guy’s lawn. So let this be a warning to all the shoppers out there that if you’re purposely buying single ply, make completely sure it’s a good brand name one at least before you leave the store! Trust me! Some other real, actual off brand names to avoid are: Boreos instead of Oreos, Crust Toothpaste instead of Crest, You’d Think It’s Butter instead of Butter… or the other off brand “Could it be Butter?,” Pranks Cereal instead of Trix, Fruit Spins instead of Fruit Loops, Sunbucks Coffee instead of Starbucks, the “Who’s Left” Game instead of Clue, Mountain Lightning or Mountain Shoutin’ instead of Mountain Dew, Crisp Crunch instead of Cap’n Crunch, Cocoa Peanut Butter Spheres instead of Reese’s Puffs….or the other off brand Cocoa Drops, Dr. Bob Soda instead of Dr. Pepper, Admiral Nelson Rum instead of Captain Morgan, Arm and Hatchet instead of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda, and the very honest off brand name Salt Salt and Salt Potato Chips. Honestly, those are all very real products. Who goes home and thinks, “I can’t wait to eat a bag of Boreos.” They should probably name it Exciteos instead if they want to sell any. You’d think that would go without saying to not buy these off brands, but when you see that price difference it sure is tempting!

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