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Acupuncture

February 7, 2019

I tried an acupuncturist for the first time; that was a crazy thing. Who first decided to put needles in their skin to help with pain? Who thought that was a good idea, and then convinced others, like myself, to give it a go? The doctor told me the needles are small and people say they either don’t feel them, or it feels like a bee sting. Great! I can’t believe I’m paying out of pocket to essentially feel like I got stung by 30 bees. It was too late to back out, I already drove 45 minutes to get there and met all the nice staff. Of course only two of the needles I didn’t feel, and they were in the sides of my neck believe it or not. The rest hurt enough to require me to concentrate on not jumping up and knocking his arm away while yelling, “KNOCK IT OFF!” That would’ve been awkward. He put one in the web of my hand between my thumb and pointer finger, and it felt like it went through my soul! It’s just a little counterintuitive to ask someone where their pain is, and then stick a needle right through the skin in that exact tender spot. Oh, thank you so much! Just what I wanted! He said it’s most important to just relax. Oh, OK! No problem there, this is an everyday thing to have sharp objects shoved and lodged into my skin for an extended period of time. I was thinking how did I get myself into this? I asked him why I didn’t have any pins in my hip to help with my sciatic nerve pain and he said that’s what the needle in your hand is for. Oh of course, how stupid of me! That makes total sense…said no one ever. After I was fully loaded like a pin cushion, He then swung heat lamps over me, so I could stare at burning hot heating elements for the next 40 minutes. He then gave me a buzzer I could ring for help and said he’d check on me in twenty minutes. As soon as he shut the door I thought to myself, how soon can I ring this bell before he gets mad? Without thinking, I tried to look down at the needles by turning my head to the side and down because I couldn’t lift my head for fear of setting my hair on fire from the heat lamps hovering above me. Right after I did that, I realized that wasn’t such a good idea because I had a needle in my neck! I forgot it was there because it was only one of two needles I couldn’t feel. So immediately I’m thinking, “Did I just accidentally push that needle super far into my jugular?” Awesome. I’m going to leave with more problems than I started with! The pain from the rest of my body superseded whatever was going on with my neck, so I just tried to forget about it and relax like he said and just pretend I didn’t just inadvertently stab myself in the neck. When my time was up, he said I need to go each week for 3 weeks. Super! I must admit, I did see improvement with my sciatic pain and the “I feel like I’m 100 years old at night when I get up off the couch after sitting through a movie for a couple of hours so give me a few minutes to move properly” feeling. I don’t know what kind of hocus pocus magic that acupuncture was, but I instantly that night could jump off the couch and do a pirouette at 11pm at night no problem. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but although it doesn’t help everyone and it didn’t help all of my troubles, I do recommend acupuncture to see if it helps (if your doctor approves it of course!).

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