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The Fairy Tale

I think Disney movies set up a fairy tale life that can’t possibly come true because it illustrates unrealistic expectations. First of all, there should have been a phone number across the screen for child protective services when Cinderella was forced to do manual labor from morning until night. Did a teacher notice she was tired all the time and wore tattered clothes while her step-sisters wore gowns? Did she even go to school? Then when she finally has someone on her side, the fairy Godmother makes her impractical glass slippers that are too big? I would have chipped those immediately at the dance and would’ve had shards of glass embedded in my feet, or the next dancer who took off her shoes on the dance floor would’ve definitely stepped on my glass debris for sure. Then when she ran to the uber carriage at the end of the night and ran out of her shoe, a modern-day “prince” would’ve yelled the modern-day popular phrase, “Go home, you’re drunk!” instead of, “Wait, I don’t even know your name!” Because who runs out of their shoes and just leaves them when they’re sober? Especially custom-made glass ones. That’s a classic sign that she’s had too much spiked punch at the ball. If she explained that she had to go or her uber carriage was going to turn into a pumpkin pulled by mice, he’d definitely think she was drinking. I also don’t like that this rich Price sent his people out to look for her instead of looking himself. That goes to show he’s a super busy rich guy who doesn’t really have time for you…total red flag. But it does show that he is super rich if he has “people” at his beck and call to do really crazy errands for him, so maybe she should’ve left a business card or her wallet with her name and address in there so he’d be sure to find her. The tale of Snow White isn’t much better. There’s no way a Prince would track down someone living with 7 other guys with goofy strange names, and she slipped into a coma under mysterious circumstances? Instead he’d be thinking wow, she has some serious health problems…I hope she’ll be ok someday…just not on my health insurance. Besides I think it would qualify as a pre-existing condition, so everything would be out of pocket and wicked expensive. He definitely wouldn’t track her down and try to wake her with a kiss while she’s in a sleep induced coma; I think he’d get in trouble for that nowadays. Even if he knew someone poisoned her, that doesn’t make it better. He’d be thinking wow, she comes with a lot of baggage, I really don’t need this in my perfect life right now! Seriously though, I LOVE those movies. I miss the days I’d watched them over and over with my kids! Here’s to hoping we all have a special someone to swoop down and help us when we’re down and out ourselves! Just don’t wear glass slippers or bite poison apples!

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