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My Nephew's Wedding

December 17, 2019

Best wishes to the bride and groom now that the wedding at the posh Pierre Hotel in NYC is over! I did not wind up bringing my dog there to meet a rich girlfriend because I couldn’t trust him to sit quietly in my purse without desecrating it and getting us kicked out, so I told him I’d put him on Tinder instead and left him home. He’s on his own to find true love now, or marry for money, or whatever floats his boat. Anyways, our adventure started out in the bathroom at our hotel that had way too many mirrors that made us feel bad about our middle-aged selves. It’s scary when you step out of the all glass shower and see yourself at every unflattering angle in a room with almost full-length mirrors on all 4 walls. It was a wakeup call for sure. But we still ate all the amazing food at the wedding; couldn’t let that go to waste! It was similar to what us ladies go through in the change room at department stores where we’re forced to stand way too close to ourselves in a full-length mirror in small dressing rooms. In our houses we’re not getting dressed practically on top of the mirrors like we’re forced to do in change rooms, so we can pick and choose when we’re brave enough to glance over and take in our full presence. But in the change rooms it’s like a train wreck with bad lighting, and you can’t look away. After that experience, the wedding, reception, after party, and brunch the next morning were amazing. I just made the appetizers before the reception a bit awkward for the staff. The thing about renowned cuisine for billionaires is that I don’t even know what is out there or what it looks like up close in person. So without knowing what I’d like or not like, when the hors d’oeuvres came around on the silver platters, I was simply not brave enough to just grab the amuse bouche and eat it without asking first, what is this? After asking that for multiple trays, I thought I’d try to mix it up when a tray of what looked like intricate edible hollow balls of lace came around, I instead asked, “How do you pronounce this?” The waiter looked at me like I’d lost my mind and said, “Cheese.” Ooooh, yes of course I’ve heard of that. Sure I’ll eat tiny lace balls of cheese. My kids shot me a look of “please stop asking painful questions.” Then when the miniature seafood tacos came around that were sitting perfectly upright in their shaved cucumber wedges, I just came right out and asked, “Do I eat the whole thing?” Again, I got another look as if the waiter was thinking, is she for real? He said, “Yes of course!” So I picked up the cucumber wedge with the balanced taco and he said, “No! Not the cucumber display!” Ooooh, ok! That’s what I meant by do I eat the whole thing or not, but ok I’ll just grab the baby taco instead. I was sad to see the incredible appetizer round end, but I’m sure they were happy to see me go! Other than trying to eat the display, I think I semi blended in at the Pierre. Congratulations to my nephew and his wife for a continued happily ever after, it was a beautiful celebration and start to a lifetime of love!

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