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Hotel Pillows

When you first walk into a beautiful hotel room that is such a welcome haven when you’re exhausted, everything looks perfect. Upon further review though, you realize that was a rush to judgement. Hotel pillows look amazing, but they’re not. They have a deflate feature that is activated once your head hits it. A nice, big, fluffy, white cloud looking pillow turns into the thickness of a tissue once you lay your head on it. You can actually hear the air exhale out of it past your head. You mumble to yourself that that’s not going to be good as your head is now somehow lower than the rest of your body. You ALWAYS wake up with neck issues after that. How am I supposed to drive home for hours without the use of my neck? Since my range of motion in turning my head is gone, I really hope my peripheral vision is up to snuff for driving. I’m just going to reside in the slow lane since I can’t look to see if anybody is in my blind spot to switch lanes to pass. Maybe that’s why some drivers camp out in the passing lane; they just had a bad pillow night at the hotel. Another problem with hotel rooms is that you can never find the light switch. It’s always somewhere fancy to impress you, but that doesn’t help when you spend half an hour hitting all sides of the lamp or simply clapping on the light. Also, why is the ice machine in the hallway so loud? It sounds like somebody slamming their car into the building, but then you realize no, that’s just someone trying to fill 100 buckets of ice way too close to your room. Why are people in the hallway so loud anyways? I thought the whole point of a hotel is to sleep there? If they wanted to stay up all night, isn’t that what the lobby is for? Lobbies are for insomniacs and people drinking at the bar, go there! I can’t help but notice too that the toilet has an industrial flushing sound and feature as it sprays water everywhere, which is beyond disgusting. Can’t wait to use the bath towel suspended above that spray. Then the room thermometer is super touchy as it fluctuates between a burning inferno and the arctic circle. At 70 degrees, you can see your breath. At 71, you can fry an egg on the table. There’s no happy medium because every hotel thermometer is seriously possessed. The hot water heater has the same extreme fluctuation problems because the shower is either scalding, or it feels like you’re the last one in the hotel to take a shower because all of the hot water is gone. You try to settle in and watch tv, but there’s only 3 channels available…similar to life back in the early 70’s. That bottle of water they display on the counter is looking very tempting in comparison to the horrendous hotel water on tap, too bad it’s worth $30. Unless it has healing powers, I can’t imagine why it would cost that much? Don’t get me wrong, I do love a hotel! It doesn’t sound like it but I really do enjoy the stay, and I hope you do as well if you have to travel this holiday season!

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