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Quarantined Co-Workers

April 18, 2020

Sometimes you have to laugh to reduce your stress, especially when you have impressionable kids who are watching you. On my daughter’s college Facebook page, the parents are playing a game where they said now that school is online or they’re home on spring break, tell us something your kids are doing, but call them your co-workers. Here’s some of the examples of what the college parents said, as well as some compilations from my family and friends who also posted it. I threw in a few myself about my “co-workers:”

 

My co-worker is in an online group chat with his fellow co-workers for an assignment, and he told me to leave the room because he said they can see me walk behind him and I embarrass him.

 

My co-worker just bit me for trying to put medicine in her eye.

 

My co-worker is wearing a kilt today and no shoes. Not sure what that’s about.

 

My co-worker is lying on the floor with the dog, begging me to go out and buy ice cream and Nutella.

 

My co-worker slept until 1pm today and hasn’t showered since he’s not going to see anybody. I think he’s taking social distancing too far. My other co-worker slept until 2pm and immediately demanded a lunch break.

 

My co-workers are fighting over the bathroom.

 

My co-worker is nonverbal and unproductive.

 

My co-worker is on my last nerve because he’s sitting two feet away from me while I’m trying to work and keeps head butting my arm.

 

My co-workers are doing shirtless flips. I did not participate.

 

I noticed my co-worker with 4 legs was rubbing his butt across my carpet even after I told him to knock it off. I had to give my co-worker a bath to get him to stop.

 

My co-worker keeps complaining about how bored he is and how long his assignment took him. Now he’s binge watching Netflix and holding the remote hostage. My other co-worker trashed my house today.

 

I rarely see my co-workers. They grab food and disappear.

 

I’m about to take my co-worker’s privileges away.

 

My co-worker ate my leftovers that I was looking forward to eating. She also found my chocolate stash and basically snacks all day long. I think my co-worker has a tapeworm.

 

I wiped my youngest co-worker’s butt today.

 

I haven’t seen my co-workers yet today and work is over.

 

While on my conference call with work, my co-worker yelled loud enough for all on the call to hear, “Can I borrow your iPad for my Xbox?” It was day 1 of home schooling.

 

My youngest co-worker asked me to lift her up on the potty. When I told her she’s a big girl now and she can do it herself, she made the “L” for loser sign at me.

 

My co-worker wears a Soresto collar so he doesn’t get any ticks. Instead of working, he finds where the sun shines through the windows and just lays there soaking it up like he’s at a tanning salon and exhibits signs of exhaustion for no reason. He’s very dramatic.

 

Your turn to play! Substitute co-worker for your spouse, pet or child during the day.

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