Quarantined Co-Workers

Sometimes you have to laugh to reduce your stress, especially when you have impressionable kids who are watching you. On my daughter’s college Facebook page, the parents are playing a game where they said now that school is online or they’re home on spring break, tell us something your kids are doing, but call them your co-workers. Here’s some of the examples of what the college parents said, as well as some compilations from my family and friends who also posted it. I threw in a few myself about my “co-workers:”

My co-worker is in an online group chat with his fellow co-workers for an assignment, and he told me to leave the room because he said they can see me walk behind him and I embarrass him.

My co-worker just bit me for trying to put medicine in her eye.

My co-worker is wearing a kilt today and no shoes. Not sure what that’s about.

My co-worker is lying on the floor with the dog, begging me to go out and buy ice cream and Nutella.

My co-worker slept until 1pm today and hasn’t showered since he’s not going to see anybody. I think he’s taking social distancing too far. My other co-worker slept until 2pm and immediately demanded a lunch break.

My co-workers are fighting over the bathroom.

My co-worker is nonverbal and unproductive.

My co-worker is on my last nerve because he’s sitting two feet away from me while I’m trying to work and keeps head butting my arm.

My co-workers are doing shirtless flips. I did not participate.

I noticed my co-worker with 4 legs was rubbing his butt across my carpet even after I told him to knock it off. I had to give my co-worker a bath to get him to stop.

My co-worker keeps complaining about how bored he is and how long his assignment took him. Now he’s binge watching Netflix and holding the remote hostage. My other co-worker trashed my house today.

I rarely see my co-workers. They grab food and disappear.

I’m about to take my co-worker’s privileges away.

My co-worker ate my leftovers that I was looking forward to eating. She also found my chocolate stash and basically snacks all day long. I think my co-worker has a tapeworm.

I wiped my youngest co-worker’s butt today.

I haven’t seen my co-workers yet today and work is over.

While on my conference call with work, my co-worker yelled loud enough for all on the call to hear, “Can I borrow your iPad for my Xbox?” It was day 1 of home schooling.

My youngest co-worker asked me to lift her up on the potty. When I told her she’s a big girl now and she can do it herself, she made the “L” for loser sign at me.

My co-worker wears a Soresto collar so he doesn’t get any ticks. Instead of working, he finds where the sun shines through the windows and just lays there soaking it up like he’s at a tanning salon and exhibits signs of exhaustion for no reason. He’s very dramatic.

Your turn to play! Substitute co-worker for your spouse, pet or child during the day.

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